Another Journey with Fayruz

Hampir empat tahun setelah posting The Journey To Become a Mother. Masa-masa penantian yang....(bingung mencari kata yang pas). Pastinya, penuh rasa syukur karena perjalanan itu dinikmati bersama suami yang sabar. Ya memang harus sama-sama sabar. Terutama menghadapi pertanyaan dan pernyataan orang. Bagian yang itu emang perlu hati lapang dan kepala dingin. Kalau kebetulan kena ke hati, langsung saja berdoa mohon diberi momongan hehehe.
Dalam empat tahun ini, paling sedikit empat orang obgyn, satu terapist totok merangkap agen herbal berpangkat diamond, dua tukang pijat merangkap agen herbal, yang pernah kami datangi. Dalam kegelapan, pengambilan keputusan seringkali membabi buta. Termasuk kami yang sedang gigih berusaha memperoleh buah hati. Cenderung bereaksi cepat terhadap referensi yang dicap sukses. Gak sepenuhnya salah sih, karena buat punya anak ya semua boleh dicoba selagi sumber daya mendukung. Hanya saja, plis, buat agen herbal or madu or similar craps, yang lagi ngejar bintang tujuh, diamond, luxury car, kapal pesiar, jangan terlalu ngotot buat cari untung diatas keprihatinan orang lain. Informasi boleh saja, tapi jangan lebay dan penuh teror. Pengalaman saya sih those craps gak terlalu bermanfaat. Cukup lah makan makanan sehat, olah raga dan hindari stres. Klise tapi itu yang bener.
Menyambung kisah The Journey tersebut, yang tengah harap-harap cemas pasca inseminasi dengan Alm. Dr. Enud Suryana di RS Asri. Inseminasi itu belum berhasil. Kebetulan pada tahun 2008 itu juga lagi sibuk berat di kantor, maklum jadi anak baru lagi setelah hijrah dari dunia perbankan. Pelajaran dari kegagalan inseminasi itu, selain karena belum diberiNya, ketika berniat program kehamilan, perlu meluangkan waktu agak lama untuk mempersiapkan kondisi rahim dan membentuk mood yang baik untuk pembuahan. Sedangkan saya pada saat itu, pasca inseminasi langsung perjalanan dinas ke Solo. Meskipun kesempatan datang ke rumahnya Jokowi itu tidak saya sesali juga. Pasca kegagalan itu, sang terapist ahli totok merekomendasikan saya berobat ke Dr. Tengku Jacob di Klinik Sam Marie. Saya dan suami manut saja, kami pun meluncur ke Jl. Wijaya (kalo tidak salah) sepulang dari kantor. Dr. Jacob merujuk kami untuk melakukan serangkaian tes yang pernah kami lakukan untuk Dr. Enud. Walaupun kami tidak keberatan melakukan tes ulang, namun selalu tidak sempat karena urusan ini inu.
Bagaikan sebuah siklus dua tahunan, setelah kehamilan (walau berakhir gugur) di tahun 2005 dan 2007, pada bulan September 2009 saya kembali mendapat sinyal positif hamil. Berjuta rasanya. Langsung menuju RS Asri dan sowan ke Dr. Enud. Tapi berdasarkan hasil USG, perkembangan janin dinilai kurang baik. Sempat dipertahankan selama beberapa minggu. Demi mendapat second opinion, kami berkonsultasi ke Dr. (lupa) di Eka Hospital. Beliau berpendapat sama. Intinya embrio tidak berkembang. Kali itu rasanya sudah mati rasa, ya sudah lah. Tinggal menentukan mau dikuret dimana. Dengan pertimbangan ini hanya tindakan kuretase saja, kami memilih obgyn yang dekat dari rumah yaitu Dr. Taufik di RSIA Putra Dalima.
Ternyata rasa hancur-hancuran, depresi, justru datang pasca kuret. Inaf is inaf. Dari serangkaian tindakan konyol orang stres, mungkin yang ini termasuk konyol akut. Saya mengundurkan diri dari kantor dan keluar dari PNS begitu saja. Banyak yang menyayangkan, namun, suami bisa sabar menerima bahkan mendukung. Sambil nganggur, saya isi waktu dengan kuliah lagi di Depok. Selama itu pula saya berusaha nyeneng-nyenegin diri dan menghindari potensi perusak mood. Belajar bikin makanan sehat. Jalan-jalan ke tempat-tempat impian. Dampak positifnya, makin menikmati kehidupan di rumah dan kehidupan anak freelance cieee. Sambil meneruskan pengobatan pasca kuret dengan Dr. Taufik. Supaya rahim saya sehat kembali dan bisa memulai program hamil berikutnya. Entah kenapa, meski males-malesan, tapi kami selalu berusaha ngikutin jadwal konsultasi dengan beliau. Beberapa saran nya pun kami ikuti. Sejak kuret pada September 2009, akhirnya kami dinyatakan siap memulai program hamil pada November 2010. Dr. Taufik memberi tips waktu berhubungan pasutri untuk program hamil. Ya kita ikuti. Kami kembali bersilaturahim dengan dokter pada Januari 2011. Dan saatnya tiba pada Februari 2011, mengulang siklus dua tahunan, saya kembali positif hamil. Melihat riwayat kehamilan saya yang buruk, Dr. Taufik langsung merujuk saya untuk rawat inap selama lima hari. Duh, saya dihantui trauma. Pasrah menjalani setiap detiknya dengan tangan tertusuk jarum infus dan suntikan dua kali sehari. Dalam rangka memperkuat kandungan saya. Setelah lima hari, Alhamdulillah embrio tampak berkembang, ditandai dengan munculnya janin dalam kantung hamil dan sudah terdeteksi detak jantungnya. Mendengar detak jantung sang janin itu indah banget. Janin sebesar biji kedele itu hidup di dalam rahimku. Masyaallah.
Hari-hari di rumah benar-benar penuh proteksi. Bagai telur di ujung tanduk. Trimester pertama yang penuh kehati-hatian di tengah rasa mual dan suntikan setiap hari. Selama itu seluruh sumber daya dikerahkan untuk membantu saya karena aktifitas ke Depok tetap berjalan. Memasuki trimester kedua, ketegangan mulai berkurang. Saya mulai enjoy dengan kehamilan. Rasa mual mulai hilang. Selama itu Alhamdulillah, walau perawakan bumil tetap mungil, tapi janin berkembang. Memasuki trimester ketiga rasanya semakin cepat ingin lahiran. Gak sabar ingin ketemu anak. Mendekati hari lahiran, kami dan dokter sepakat lahiran secara SC. Alhamdulillah sekarang Fayruz sudah tujuh bulan dan masih mendapat ASI. Sekarang, The Journey To Become a Good Mother. Fase yang tidak lebih sulit, tidak lebih mudah, hanya berbeda.  

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Fay Says (Kakek Home's Trip)

Yippeee....! Last holiday was awesome! Mom, Pap, and I went to Kakek's home. There were my cousins too, Abang Naufal, Teteh Ocha, and Teteh Hana. We harvested rambutan with joy. But I still don't have idea how is rambutan's taste. Until now, milk is my only meal.

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Fay Says

It was my first spa experience. Mom had weird obsession since knew that she got pregnant. Yes, taking me to the spa was on the top of her plans. After gave birth, she had to wait three months before I can go to the spa. There are some conditions apply for a baby to get a spa treatment. For example, baby’s swim is for baby whose stronger neck and minimum weight 5 kgs.

When I passed those conditions, she contacted the spa immediately. Lucky her, in the afternoon, there was one unoccupied hour. So, I got the reservation for swim and massage package.

Although mom had made reservation for 3 pm, but at the time, we had to wait along with other two babies. That was the first inconvenience of my spa experience. Finally, one masseur lady called my name and lead me the way to one cozy purple-room. The room is definitely designed for baby’s interest. It is equipped with a glass-pool, a bathtub, a changing table, a toys closet, and a baby size mattress.

My first treatment was baby’s swim, it took maximum 20 minutes. I had swim bath since the day I was born. So, water is my thing. I enjoyed the warm water and kicked the colored balls. But it was only for the first ten minutes. Then suddenly I became tired. The neck-holder was a little bit tight, along with the water pressure, those made me hard to breathe. Then, I started to scream loudly to get mom’s attention. My mom noticed my sign and she asked the masseur to take me out from the pool. However, I had lost my mood. All I wanted was cuddling with mommy and having ASI.

Again, mom knew my intentions. She carried me tenderly while feeding me. When they thought I got convenience position, the masseur continued her job massaging me. She’s definetely very annoying and I couldn’t take it anymore. Then I struggled to stop her bothering me. “Hey! Stop it lady! Mom, please, don’t let her do that!” Oh, they didn’t listen to my cry. Yeah, the lady must finished her job to get paid. So, I cried over the imposed treatment which was in hurry and unconfortable.

Mom, I like swimming, but please, don’t take me to a massage spa ever. I prefer you as my masseur, as you always do while wearing me clothes after shower. But anyway, thank you mother. I know you’ll try to do what it may be good for me. I love you.

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The Rules of Raising Angel (A Proposition)

Moms, i salute all of you, every mom and mom-to-be in the world. For unconditional love and care you give to children. Being mom is definitely a real job. It may require all competencies mentioned in, let’s say, a CEO post vacancy, with a life long contract. Briefly, it costs you blood and tears. But it will pay you HEAVEN, mom.

There is no such thing as a full-time mom or part-time mom (or outsourced-mom?). Mom will always be mom, whenever, wherever. Whether she delivered naturally or under surgery. She gives breasfeeding or formulas. Mom knows the best, for children, family, and her self.

Raising angel can be a bless and a test at the same time. Every parent wants all the best things for their children, even before they are born. When mom find out that she is expecting, it will give excitement to the whole family.

Post-natal is the happiest moment after nine-month of anticipation. And mom’s life turns upside-down since then. In the early life, baby totally count its life on mom’s hand. Gentle touch, soft voice of mom are as important as nutrition from breastmilk. Those give the fundamental and stimulation for baby to grow physically and emotionally. This critical nursing stage demands mom to be at best condition to express breastmilk and babysit 24/7, while keeping house in order as well as (not to forget) working the relationship with partner.

But there is no perfect life, especially for working mom, specifically in Indonesia. The labor acts allow maximum to 3 months of maternity leave. In reality, some companies allegedly cut the maternity leave period, plus some adverse actions to pregnant worker. The situation can be worse when a female staff get particular pregnancy or maternity problems that cause her to get rest. I always remember when my ex-gentleman-boss said repeatedly,”A woman worker usually gives her best performance in the first two years, and then it diminishing slowly, in most cases starting from the day she get pregnant.” It’s a challenging statement ladies! I bet he vow not to recruit female worker ever since then.

Yes I have read that some moms are succeed in keeping motherhood and office stuffs in balance. They do pumping between office hours, in any location, to provide breastmilk stocks for their little angels at home. But it only applies if mom get helper which now become the primary issue for most of working-household. Quit from the job may be an alternative solution. But in this economy which single income can not support family needs, it could be a bad decision. Nevertheless, nurturing is way more sophisticated than breastmilk and helper availability matters.

The beginning years is golden year in a baby’s life. Its has the right to get appropriate treatment from appropriate people. We need an emphatic-yet-fair on-demand-maternity-leave policy. At last, for the sake of our next generation well-being, I propose revision on government maternity leave policy. To enable moms accomplished their noble mission from God completely.

(Ilustration from likemails.com)

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Are you ready? Yes, Chef!

Are you ready? Yes, Chef! Then quickly the twenty junior Australian chefs grab the ingredients and bring them to the cooking station. No more than one hour later, there will be well-presented fine cuisines on the table ready to be judged. That is another innovative and educative TV program from the country next door, which shows talented young people in pursuing the title of Junior Masterchef.

The question is how those kids get accustomed to many ingredients which some of them are unfamiliar even for adults. The next question is when they start to use cooking tools either common tools or hi-tech appliances. And the third question, how parents treat them at home. The talent will not be just a free-gift from no where. It must be the result of some processes.

In my observation, parenting method takes a major role in build skill and personality in a child. In some scenes of the program, parents are very supportive and showing their credit expressively. Their action is adequate to create positive environment for the kids to cook confidently and happily. But the support which is showed on TV is just the tip of iceberg. Support that's given at home are even bigger. The family must love to cook and the kids are involved. While some parents are keeping their children away from the kitchen, these inspiring parents just have their children to cook together in the kitchen. How to interpret danger makes a different when we talk about knives, gas stove, microwave, glass or else. Masterchef's parents always emphasize a knife has function and must be used in an appropriate way. Otherwise, you or people will get hurt.

This is another hypothetically cause of a junior masterchef, family background. Some contestants come from restaurant-owner families. Other contestant is the grand-grand daughter of a legendary cake factory. It is not the main factor but still can influence skill and vision.

The last but not least is the learning ability. This is the ultimate role of being something remarkable. Those junior chefs must have high passion and desire to cook and to learn to be better and to be the best. They are only 12 years old and under, but with that great passion they performance is beyond all average chef out there. Yeah, I'm the average chef at home, and today I cook chicken noodles.

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