It Happens (Again)!!!

It’s needed 29 years for me to know my self a very little bit. Maybe, people in Human Resources Division know me better that I do. I thought I was a strong girl, highly self-controlled, straight forward and smart.
After 6 years collaborated in working circumstances, I find out that I am not as I thought before. I am not that strong, otherwise very weak. I am easily getting angry, don’t know how many people get offended to my attitude. Well, straight forward and smart, are still available.
My first runaway from company was caused by depression feeling under over load pressure. That time, I blamed the management of the company for not having fair work distribution and refusing my participation in company scholarship.
The second runaway was caused by depression feeling of the absence of child in my 3 years marriage. I wanted more time to relax so I could concentrate in carrying-out baby. In this runaway, my husband gave me 100%-support and recognized my decission as right-on-the-track.
What happen next? I’m about to answer.
I’m joining a non-department government agency related to technology. The only interesting thing of the agency is no pressure. Six years experience in private sector left me with some insights, mindset and some quality of attitudes. Those will, somehow, be a very expensive things that scarce to find in bureaucracy. At the very beginning, I told my self that it will be underpaid and tight bureaucracy. My heart said those could be acceptable. And yes, that was how the nightmare came for the third time…
Same thing happens, same feeling comes. First, it stimulated by the fact that I have not been paid for almost six months. Second, I found that there were a lot of negative people. They were cynical, skeptic, and all negative attitudes. I couldn’t stand by their mouth. The people like to talk very much, great talkers. They tend to be happier to see other people stuck in deep trouble. This situation is not healthy to me.
Or, maybe, this becomes an operating module of my life. I made my self like what I feel today and what I think about people around me. Should I make another runaway? Please somebody help me!